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"The dozens" is an African American custom in which two competitors—usually males—go head to head in a competition of often ribald "trash talk." They take turns insulting—"cracking" or "ranking" on—one another, their adversary's mother or other family member until one of them has no comeback. This is called playing the dozens or doin' the dozens and sometimes dirty dozens. The dozens is a contest of personal power—of wit, self-control, verbal ability, mental agility and mental toughness. Each putdown, each "snap," ups the ante. Defeat can be humiliating; but a skilled contender, win or lose, may gain respect. The dozens is one of the contributing elements in the development of hip hop, especially the practice of battling.
About the dozens
The dozens can be a harmless game of casual, good-natured jibes; an exchange of malicious insults; or, if tempers flare, a prelude to physical violence. While the competition on its face is usually light-hearted, smiles sometimes mask real tensions. But in its purest form, the dozens is part of an African-American custom of verbal sparring, of "woofin'" (see wolf ticket) and "signifyin'," ostensibly intended to defuse conflict nonviolently, descended from an oral tradition rooted in traditional West African cultures.
"Yo' momma," a common, widely recognized argumentative rejoinder in African-American vernacular speech, is a cryptic, and sometimes comical, allusion to the dozens.
The term "the dozens" is believed to refer to the devaluing on the auctionblock of slaves who were past their prime, who were deformed, aged or, after years of back-breaking toil, no longer were capable of hard labor. These enslaved human beings often were sold by the dozen. In "Still Laughing to Keep from Crying: Black Humor," African-American author and professor Mona Lisa Saloy writes:
The dozens has its origins in the slave trade of New Orleans where deformed slaves—generally slaves punished with dismemberment for disobedience—were grouped in lots of a 'cheap dozen' for sale to slave owners. For a Black to be sold as part of the 'dozens' was the lowest blow possible.
Kokomo Arnold, one of the most popular American blues musicians of the 1930s, released a song Twelves (Dirty Dozens) that includes lyrics such as:
I like yo' momma - sister, too
I did like your poppa - but your poppa wouldn't do
I met your poppa on the corner the other day
I soon found out he was funny that way.
Alternative hip hop group The Pharcyde released a song on their debut album Bizarre Ride II: The Pharcyde entitled "Yo' Mama," the lyrics of which consist entirely of snaps. Australian hip-hop outfit Butterfingers have a song "Yo Momma", which features the chorus "Yo Momma's on the top of my things-to-do list".
In 2004, the Wayans Brothers released The Dozens, a dozens game for mobile phones. The movies White Men Can't Jump, Remember the Titans, 8 Mile, and House Party include exchanges of snaps. The TV show In Living Color regularly featured a game show segment titled The Dirty Dozens and parodies of popular game shows, such as Wheel of Dozens and Family Dozens.
George Carlin talks about playing "The Dozens" on his grammy winning album "The Class Clown."
"You wanna know the dozens, well the dozens is a game, but the way I fucked your mother, is a god damn shame" — George Carlin
African-American children have been known to express contempt or defiance by reciting a short poem that refers to the dozens, but in which the insults are mostly implied:
Yo' mama, yo' daddy, Yo' bald-headed granny
Yo' mama, Yo' daddy, Yo' sista too, go tell them bitches to go back to the zoo.
The dozens in literature
Snaps (1994), written by James Percelay, is a compendium of over 450 jokes. Its popularity gave rise to sequels Double Snaps (1995), Triple Snaps (1996), and Snaps 4 (1998). The books use the epithet "your mother," as opposed to the more common "yo mama."
A Portrait of Yo Mama As a Young Man (2005), written by Andrew Barlow and Kent Roberts, is a postmodern take on the dozens which redefines the form through the use of reflexivity, absurdism, and anti-humor. In addition to jokes, the book contains charts, poetry, a resume, and various other short humor pieces.
Related practices outside the African-American community
The dozens has spread beyond the African American community and spawned similar phenomena in other cultures. In Britain, for instance, the analogous usage is "your mum." Derogatory barbs focus almost exclusively on impugning the sexual integrity of the target's mother.
Historically, similar verbal competitions were practiced in other cultures. A flyting in sixteenth-century Scotland was an exchange of abusive poems by poets, though the term refers generally to the exchange of insults in ancient Norse and Germanic cultures. American cowboys in the late nineteenth century participated in cussing contests, the winners of which often were awarded new saddles.
Some use "your mom" jokes as a riposte and oftentimes a counter-riposte to any insulting statement made—e.g., "You're an idiot." "Your mom is an idiot!" Today, "your mom" jokes also are used for statements that have no hostile or pejorative intent—e.g., "I love to eat ice cream." "Your mom loves to eat ice cream!" Or, they are used as a clever way to skew another person's words: "Ramen noodles are cheap and easy." "Your mom is cheap and easy!"
Examples of "snaps"
What follow are a few sanitized, less colorful examples of snaps in the dozens.
"Yo' momma's so fat..."
- "...she puts mayonnaise on her aspirin"
- "...she fell in love and broke it."
- "...I yelled 'Hey Kool-Aid!', and she busted through the wall."
- "...when she goes out camping, the bears have to hide their food."
- "...she's on both sides of the family."
- "...when she lies around the house, she lies around the house."
- "...when I said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a spoon and ran out the door!"
- "...she could sell shade."
- "...she broke her leg, an' gravy poured out."
- "...when she hauls ass, she gotta take two trips!"
- "...her favorite food is seconds!"
- "...when she goes to the zoo, elephants throw HER peanuts!"
- "...when God said, 'Let there be light,' He asked her to move."
- "...her blood type is gravy."
- "...her high school photo was taken by satellite!"
- "...when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet!"
- "...when she goes to the theater, they play the movie on her back!"
- "...the earth revolves around her!"
- "...she filled the bathtub and turned on the tap."
- "...when I drove around her I ran out of gas."
- "...she entered Miss America and parts of Canada and Mexico.
- "...she stepped on a dog's tail and it died!"
- "...when she was walkin' down the street, and a cop said, 'Y'all break it up, now."
- "...she wore an X jacket, and a helicopter landed on her."
- "...when she dances, the band skips."
- "...I had to use 10 gallons of petrol to get around her."
Yo' momma's so heavy, when she stepped on a scale...
- "...it said, 'One at a time, please!'"
- "...it said, 'No livestock allowed!'"
- "...it said, 'To be continued!'"
- "...the needle went around so much that it screwed the scale into the floor!"
- "...she saw '90210' for the first time in five years!"
"Yo' momma's so old..."
- "...her social security number is 1"
- "...her breastmilk is powder."
- "...she farts dust."
- "...when God said, 'Let there be light,' she flipped the switch!"
- "...she still owes Moses a quarter."
- "...she sat behind George Washington in third grade."
- "...she has a Bible that is signed by the author."
- "...Jesus signed her high school yearbook."
- "...when she went to school, they didn't have history class."
- "...her birth certificate says 'Expired'"
- "...when I told her to act her age, she died"
"Yo' momma's so poor..."
- "...when she goes to KFC she licks other people's fingers!"
- "...when the wolf comes to your house, he brings his own sandwiches!"
- "...she got married just for the rice!"
- "...she can't even afford to pay attention!"
- "...she put a cheeseburger on layaway!"
"Yo' momma's so stupid..."
- "...she sits on the T.V. and watches the couch!"
- "...it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!"
- "...she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday."
- "...she went hungry in an all-you-can-eat buffet."
- "...when someone said that drinks were on the house, she went onto the roof!"
- "...if ignorance was bliss, then she would be Mrs. Happy."
- "...she returned a donut because it had a hole in it!"
"Yo' momma's so bald, you can see what she thinkin'."
"Yo' momma's such a bad cook..."
- "...she still makes radio dinners."
- "...she lost her recipe for instant coffee."
- "...we pray after we eat."
- "...your dog says, 'Barf, barf!'"
"Yo' momma's like..."
- "a straw: she likes getting sucked on."
- "a TV: anyone can turn her on."
- "a doorknob: everyone gets a turn."
- "a roller-coaster: everyone gets to ride her."
- "a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and gets laid in the closet."
- "a shotgun, two pumps and she's done."
- "10-10-220, 99 cents for the first 20 minutes, 7 cents a minute after that."
- "a hockey player she wears the same pads through 3 periods."
- "a warehouse, 10 cents a screw."
"The difference between your momma and an elevator in the projects is...not everyone rides the elevator."
"Yo' father..."
- "got no legs so he shops at Just Shirts!"
- "has no arms and bought a vest"
"Yo' sister's so ugly..."
- "...when she was born, yo' grandmomma said, 'What a treasure! Let's go bury it.'"
- "...she scares away blind people!"
- "...she makes blind kids cry."
- "...the bears built a fire to keep her away."
- "...she could curdle a cow."
- "...bigfoot takes pictures of her."
- "...when she was born, the doctor slapped your momma!"
- "...she makes your mom look good."
"Yo' sister's like a..."
- "... race car, she burns four rubbers a night."
- "...computer, she's on everybody's laptop."
"Yo' brother's so..."
- "...stupid, he was fired from the M&Ms factory for throwing away all the "W"'s!"
- "...fat, he raced a pregnant woman and came in third!"
Snaps may also exaggerate a persons body part such as:
- "...Your nose is so big you pick your boogers with boxing gloves."
- "...Your lips so big your mouth looks like a cheeseburger."
- "...Your penis is so small you have to masturbate with a pair of tweezers."
See also
External links
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